Dumbfounded!

Up until last Thursday, I was quiet certain that my uni days would be over within the week….how wrong I was! I had my final assessment with my CCT on Thursday, it didn’t go as well as I planned, to be honest I wasn’t expecting high praises, but the words “I’ve failed you” were the last thing I was expecting. As my CCT went through my assessment, I found quiet a few discrepancies, and some comments were completely wrong, but at this stage I was way too upset to be able to discuss this with her.

It only got worse from there, I approached my FCE right away, and wanted an indication of whether she was going to pass me, I had explained to her that I had PCR coming up in the next week, and that I needed to get in touch with the coordinators at uni to organize things. The FCE of course didn’t want to discuss things with me, and she said she’ll go through the assessment the next day. The final ax was left till Friday afternoon, so I had pretty much been a wreck for almost 2 days, on top of having to see all my patients.
What frustrated me, is that I was given absolutely no indication I was failing at the mid placement. My FCE said she had no concerns, and that I was doing fine 2 weeks into the prac. My CCT made no comments either regarding failing, she just told me to work on improving what I had already learned. Even at the end of the 3rd week, both supervisers had told me “your passing”, but they wanted me to set the bar higher, and keeping improving in certain areas. Not once did they indicate they were overly concerned, my FCE on the 2nd last Friday even said, “you did really well today, just keep doing this, and you’ll be fine”. For the next week, I found I had very little supervision, and I was left to be more independent to ax & rx my patients. I took this as a good sign, as most students would, when they are given more independence, and less intrusion by their supervisers. Hence my frustration and confusion when my FCE decided to fail me as well. I pointed out to my superviser she had left me to be independent, to which my superviser replied, “I noticed you weren’t coping very well”, if she really felt I was incompetent and struggling how could she leave me alone to see patients??!! She had told me that the patients were her main priority, I was finding this a bit hard to believe, considering she had left someone who she believed to be incompetent responsible for these patients. If I was really struggling, why wasn’t additional supervision provided, as is stated in the unit outline. Almost feels like they wanted me to fail. My FCE also said the only reason she outright failed me is because it was my last placement, had I been in this situation earlier in the year (like many students), she would have passed me with a ADF. I certainly drew the short straw there.

So currently I don’t know whats happening in terms of PCR/ supp placement etc. The coordinators have indicated I wont be able to sit the PCR until the deferred timeslot. I haven’t had a chance to explain to them my side of the story, and I’m really getting worried, considering PCR is only a few days away, and I’ve been stressed out and haven’t been able to concentrate on anything since last Thursday.
I feel I haven’t been given a fair go, by the supervisers on clinic, and also the uni, as my situation has been left hanging, and no-one else seems to be in a hurry to sort it out. I feel like I’m being ignored, except for all the students out there who have been very supportive and understanding.
All I want is to be able to sit the PCR this week like the rest of you, go through the same experience/emotion of finishing together with the people I’ve been with for the last 4 yrs.

Good luck to you all!